Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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