i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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