She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
