How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
