i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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