I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
