the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
