so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
