2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
