Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize