we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
please come you make the beer taste better
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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