Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
