I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
