we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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