I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
