Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
