Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize