Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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