honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
