At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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