I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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