Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize