Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
