dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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