i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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