take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
