Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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