i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize