He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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