Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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