just tell him i said nine months
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
