i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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