My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
