You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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