Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
