I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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