YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
