Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
