Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
