Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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