I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
