No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
