no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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