Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
