is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize