In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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