I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
