this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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