I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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