in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
