you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
whose parrot is this?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
