Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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