Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
