I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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