is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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