Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
