That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
