I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
