are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
