so explain again why im purple
no
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize