How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
