She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
