she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
