just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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