She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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