life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
