HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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