Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
