im about as happy as oj after his trial
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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