Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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