Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
