i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
