What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
