I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize