I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
