you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
