just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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