Three words: puerto rican gang bang
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
