do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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