i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
