We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
